Showing Up
The importance of spontaneous moments, memories and Father’s Day
By Michele Francisco, OWP editor
For two years during college, I lived next to Mrs. Holmes. She was in her 70s (or maybe 80s) and had spent more than 40 years in her Westwood apartment. Most days, she planned a single outing: bank, grocery store, dress shop, pharmacy or lunch with a friend. As a young college student juggling classes, writing papers and working a part-time job, I was a little jealous of Mrs. Holmes’ schedule.
As my parents grow older, I find they need more help navigating daily life. With less energy, everyday tasks feel almost monumental in scale. I realize now, Mrs. Holmes had developed a rhythm and routine to match her stamina.
I’m visiting them in California right now. My time here is always busy. I accompany my parents to their medical appointments, help automate their finances so bills are paid on time, declutter and sort through what seems like a metric ton of paperwork and mail. All while managing my own work and responsibilities. I’m currently wrapping up this issue and supporting writers with upcoming articles and deadlines.
My mom and stepdad celebrate their 33rd wedding anniversary in two days. I’m grateful they found each other and continue to love one another truly. Their marriage has also enriched my life immensely.
That foundation has never mattered more as we three navigate Parkinson’s disease and dementia. In hindsight, Chris may have been experiencing symptoms long before my mom or I recognized something was amiss– the tremor we noticed was perhaps only the most visible sign. Regardless, his decline seems startlingly swift. A robust support network is proving essential, especially since I live almost 1,000 miles away.
Last night, we sat outside to watch the sunset. As the sky grew darker, bats emerged, leading us to share our favorite “bat” memories and stories. We laughed and enjoyed being together. What started as a spontaneous decision became a cherished moment. Chris might not remember it today, but my mom and I won’t forget it.
If you have a dad or father figure in your life, don’t forget to share how much you love him this Father’s Day. You never know how many more opportunities you’ll get to do so.
Michele Francisco spent her childhood reading and writing, eventually graduating from UCLA with an English degree. She attended graphic design school and began a career in design and marketing. After moving to Oregon in 2010, Michele studied wine at Chemeketa Community College and began Winerabble, a Northwest-focused wine blog. She has been a cheerleader for Oregon wine since her arrival.
