Is This Mic On?

You might live in wine country...

I’m a sucker for a good comedian. Of course, “good” is subjective. Those who are funny to me — Zach Galifianakis, Marc Maron, Brian Regan — may be painfully bad to you.

In the eye-rolling column for me is Jeff Foxworthy. I just can’t connect, but as many performers do, I am going to borrow his shtick: “You Might Be a Redneck” and twist it for my own purposes in writing this letter.

I’ve said it before, living in wine country is not the glamorous lifestyle it might imply.

Let me explain.

You might live in Oregon wine country ... if you can spot city folk out for a Saturday wine tasting with one look at the car: clean, shiny, not a speck of dust. Yes, my Prius is always filthy, but in these parts, we celebrate dirt, so no shame here.

You might live in Oregon wine country ... if you can’t go to the grocery store without running into a winemaker, for better or worse — worse being said person peeks at your cart filled with Diet Coke, Oreos and a whole assortment of delicious junk food with not one healthy or gourmet item in the heap. No apologies.

You might live in Oregon wine country ... if you’ve been vacuuming your house twice a day for months now, battling stink bugs and box elders, while taking great delight in their daily demise.

You might live in Oregon wine country ... if wearing a fleece vest and a clean — no wine stains — baseball cap works for business casual attire, reserving your cowboy boots for the fancy dinners.

While some of you can relate to my sentiments, others are scoffing. I’m OK with that; I realize I’m not especially funny. Besides, self-deprecating comedians are my favorite. They know when to put down the mic; in my case, when to end my rambling letter.