Stories from a Somm

New Memoir by Master Sommelier Tim Gaiser

By Greg Norton

In his irreverent new memoir “Strong Water,” Master Sommelier Tim Gaiser takes aim at wine’s pretensions while including colorful anecdotes and insights during his three-decade career. Tales of backstage restaurant antics interweave along with practical tips and personal musings. Gaiser demystifies wine and food, proving they’re for everyone– not merely those who can pronounce “Gewürztraminer.”

At a time when the wine industry battles lagging sales and flagging interest, defending the status quo would seem to fall to Gaiser, one of only 300 Master Sommeliers worldwide and the 20th American to attain the honor. He has served as both director of education and as education chair for the Court of Master Sommeliers, Americas. His first book, “Message in the Bottle: A Guide for Tasting Wine,” remains a technical resource for those seeking to pass blind tasting tests. But the audience for “Strong Water” is broader. It recounts hilarious restaurant mishaps– real and imagined– alongside insights that use wine as a mere point of departure. This book is about far more than wine.

Gaiser’s project grew from a disciplined commitment to writing he made during the COVID-19 pandemic. At the suggestion of a writing teacher, he embraced the habit of drafting 500 words daily on any topic. From his over 1,000 resulting essays, “Strong Water” presents 45, arranged under seven headings: Restaurants, Food, Wine, Potpourri, Tales of the Sommelier, Notes from the Road and Humor. These concise vignettes bypass a traditional biography timeline to create an intimate mosaic of life within wine’s inner circle.

A Life in Wine

Gaiser’s renegade writing style shines as he describes his first restaurant job at an all-night pancake house in his hometown of Albuquerque: “Biff’s was a cross between a chameleon and a community theater for aliens at the edge of the universe. That is to say, its personality changed multiple times throughout the course of a day.”

This humble beginning led Gaiser to a bartending job at a vermin-infested jazz club, serving wine in San Francisco’s fine dining scene and embarking on numerous global wine and food excursions. He eventually advanced from restaurant work to wine education, while recognizing “the restaurant business never leaves you regardless of when you leave the floor, behind the bar, or in the kitchen.” Nightmares still interrupt his sleep.

Even after a career during which he had seen it all, he concludes, “Sharing wine and a meal with friends and family is perhaps the most satisfying thing we can do. I can’t think of anything better.”

Thinking About Wine

Gaiser credits his former career as a classical trumpet player with helping him pass the Master Sommelier examinations. “Perhaps the most important connection between music and wine is how they make us think,” he writes. “Extensive training in either can create complex and refined patterns of thought not necessarily found in other endeavors.”

His skillful synthesizing of wine’s abstractions into cogent thoughts while extending them into what he describes as “random” associations makes “Strong Water” significant to readers across the wine-loving spectrum.

From what to do when “put on the spot with a wine list the size of the Gutenberg Bible” to sparkling wine safety tips, the value of learning to blind taste and an entire chapter on the thorny topic of wine “texture,” this book contains something for everyone. The voice of an experienced teacher resonates as Gaiser explains wine without, as he writes, “any ‘you kids get off my lawn’ sentiment.”

He concludes the book by describing the final meal he would eat if he knew the world was ending.

“Strong Water” benefits from a cover-to-cover reading, and its short chapters make it particularly browsable. Whichever way you approach it, you will find hard-won wisdom and wit about food and wine accompanied by ruminations about why this matters.

Greg Norton is a freelance writer in the Pacific Northwest with a broad background in non-profit communications and the arts.  He studied journalistic writing through the UCLA Extension and has traveled to wine regions around the world. Greg is a Certified Specialist of Wine and received the level two award from the Wine and Spirits Education Trust.  When not writing about wine, he can be found pouring it in a tasting room or wine bar near West Linn, where he lives. Read more by Greg at www.onthevine.blog.