Spectrum of Sobriety
Nondrinkers share their views

By Kerry McDaniel Boenisch
“I really encourage people to think beyond this as a black-and-white choice. You don’t need a medical condition or substance abuse issue. If you choose to drink less, realize that everyone has a different approach to alcohol. When someone opens a really beautiful bottle that might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to taste, I do so. Therefore, I am not technically sober. And I don’t mean to diminish or negate how difficult it is for some people to maintain sobriety. It is a very personal thing,” Annie Shull, co-owner of Raptor Ridge Winery.
“When used intelligently, wine feeds not only the body but the soul and spirit, stimulates the mind, making life happier and more creative,” Robert Mondavi.
Countless people in wine practice complete abstinence from alcohol, limit their consumption to occasional, regimented tastes or fall somewhere in between the spectrum. Regardless, everyone’s journey is unique. And, despite a desire to abstain, these same professionals work and support the industry daily.
Robert Mondavi urged moderate wine drinking as a healthy way to sustain the industry and counteract the neo-Prohibitionist movement. He detailed his opinion in the forward of Plain Talk About Fine Wine, written by Silver Oak co-founder and former winemaker Justin Meyer.
“There is a growing situation, however, which I believe is of great importance to all of us who enjoy wine– it is something that concerns me deeply. For the past five years, the neo-Prohibitionists and anti-alcohol people have stated repeatedly that wine is a hazard and is dangerous to our way of life. This is not the truth– nowhere near the whole truth. These groups talk only of the abuse of wine– not its many benefits. When wine is drunk moderately and intelligently, it is part of gracious living. Abuse wine and just like many other things in our culture– food and medicine among them– it is bad for you,” wrote Mondavi.
Erik Erath remembers the exact day in July 1997 when he became a recovering alcoholic. That’s right, son of Oregon’s iconic winemaker Dick Erath, founder of Knudsen-Erath and Erath Winery, has been sober for nearly three decades.
“It was a little awkward at first; especially when my dad hosted Erath’s 25th anniversary party at his house two months after I started on my recovery path. There were tables loaded with bottles of high-end wine all over the place. Everyone was drinking… I white-knuckled my glass of water all night,” recalled Erik.
Dick himself was a moderate drinker; he rarely drank when visiting Erik in Los Angeles. The two would go to restaurants, and, before Erik learned turning your wineglass upside down signaled you weren’t drinking, people would ask him if he wanted a drink. Dick would pridefully interject with “he doesn’t drink.” His behavior reflected a show of support for Erik’s fledgling sobriety journey. In my forty-year friendship with Dick, I saw him and others in the industry (including my parents, Jim and Donna Jean McDaniel), enjoying wine with food at neighborhood parties or savoring it with dessert and conversation rather than drinking to intoxication.
Despite her significant contribution to the founding of Oregon’s wine industry, Erik’s mother Kina Erath also struggled with alcohol abuse before succumbing to the disease in 1994 at 62. (Read more about her remarkable, albeit largely unknown legacy, in my Oregon Wine Press article, published in May 2024.) The premature deaths of his mother (and brother) are painful reminders of Erik’s own sobriety journey.
During our interview, Erik mentioned there are plenty of bartenders, distributors and even winery and brewery owners in twelve-step programs.
“Step one is admitting you have a problem. It’s hard for your ego to take. My brother Cal had a great palate and knew a lot about wine, but alcohol, along with mental illness, overcame his ability to admit he had a problem. But, surrendering to it and getting help means you’ve joined the winning side, not the losing one,” he explained.
“If you choose the recovery path, a program can put you back on your feet quickly. I’m back in bars playing with my band and totally comfortable being around alcohol without drinking it. That’s my version. It’s not a temperance movement… we have no judgment,” said Erik. “The way I see it is if I’m not with the drinkers, how can I offer assistance to someone who wants to change? Being a living example of somebody who has recovered is key,” said Erik.
Annie Shull recalled the phases she experimented with: practicing “Sober October,” remaining off alcohol after meditation retreats and doing cleanses.
“Each time I took a break from alcohol, anywhere from one to three months, I slept better and experienced less brain fog. In 2020, I read an article about Oregon winery co-owner, Martha Wright, who runs Clear Power Coaching. I found her story of drinking less encouraging so I joined a group with other wine industry folks. It was great talking with people in the industry about the difficulties of being surrounded by alcohol while validating my desire to stay off of it,” says Shull.
“Over time, I was able to stop drinking but would hit a wall at three or four months. In 2021, I tried again, after a silent meditation retreat followed by a cleanse. I called Martha for advice on getting beyond four months,” says Shull. “Together, we found drinks that reminded me of the aromas and flavors I missed in my favorite wines, along with other ways to reward myself at the end of the day. She helped me achieve my goal of six months, and then a year. That’s when I became less stringent, allowing myself a taste of a special wine, or even the occasional glass.”
Shull explains how, “For the past few years, Raptor Ridge has offered a nonalcoholic flight of sparkling fruit juice drinks made with Honeybee Lemonade Syrups. It’s a nice touch for abstaining visitors and designated drivers, making everyone feel welcome and included.”
When asked what it’s like to be a supporter of the industry yet not a wine drinker, Shull says, “At times, I am pleasantly surprised by the acceptance I feel. It is interesting to host a winery dinner and be asked why I’m not drinking very much. Sometimes I say I’m not drinking tonight or point out how I need to remain professional and talk about the wines, and eventually drive back to my hotel. And, sometimes, I tell them I don’t drink. It just depends on the mood at the table.”
Shull also found clarity during meditation retreats, explaining, “I slept more soundly, relaxed more deeply, thought more clearly, and I didn’t miss my evening glass of wine. Not once.” She continues, “One of my biggest fears was not being able to relax, or even sleep, without a glass of wine. Having successfully cut back, I have discovered a path that works for me, even while surrounded by wine. I can sell wine, attend wine dinners, socialize with customers, my colleagues, chefs and hospitality folks, and not have to partake in drinking. I am grateful for this, and I do not take it for granted.”
Resources
Wine in Moderation: www.wineinmoderation.eu
A Balanced Glass: www.abalancedglass.com
Bens Friends: www.bensfriendshope.com
Healthy Pour: www.ahealthypour.com
Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org
Marth Wright’s Clear Power Coaching: www.clearpowercoaching.com
A 30-Day Alcohol-Free Challenge to Interrupt Your Habits and Help You Take Control by Annie Grace: www.thisnakedmind.com/blog-the-alcohol-experiment
Kerry McDaniel Boenisch is an author, speaker, wine judge and "Wine Sisters Cheers to Change" Vlog co-host with Atlanta, Georgia Corks and Cuvee wine store owner Regina Jones Jackson. She is currently working on her fourth book, Fall Down, Stand Up, Learning From Loss Amidst the Vines— The Beginners Guide to Grieving, Empty-nesting and Finding Joy, due out this fall. Her three books are Vineyard Memoirs, Dirt+Vine=Wine and Intertwined— Grief, Gratitude and Growing a Vineyard.